1. Nov 3, 2012 3:37pm

    Late Contender For Most Infantilizing Headline Of The Year: “Dez Bryant Stays Out Past Midnight”

    Picture via Getty

    That’s sitting atop this piece on ESPN—it’s on ESPN’s frontpage headline feed as “Cowboys’ Bryant gets permission to be out late”—about Dez Bryant’s 24th birthday, which is tomorrow. Dez has been living under strict rules, enforced by Cowboys employees and personal advisers, ever since he assaulted his mother in July. Now? This was the first time he’s gone out in months, and he couldn’t stay out long.

    It sounds like Dez kept mostly to himself, hung out with friends, and stayed away from anyone who might be newly unemployed or mentally unbalanced. Except for, you know, part of the time: 

    A photo placed on twitter claimed Bryant, former Dallas Mavericks guard Delonte West and free agent forward Josh Howard were at a Dallas nightclub. The photo was later taken down by a DJ who goes by the twitter handle of DJklassik.

    Makes sense. Both of those guys are usually too zonked out to stay up much past midnight anyway.